Delight Chilegide Olumati

What exactly do you fear the most? The silence that you drown in or the thought you can’t escape? What throws you off so much about being alone? What forces you away from enjoying your own company? What drags your sanity from being sane?

When the world stops paying attention to the way your heart beats sounds, what do you do? Do you force your heart to beat louder, faster, or never? What goes on in your head when it’s just you?

Music to some is good company and to others home. What do you draw in with you when it’s you against those thoughts you dare not give words to? Where do you call home? Is it six feet below or some good minutes to just cry whatever it is out? What is your definition of a good company? I hear depression is anywhere loneliness lives, how true is it?

When you hear the sound of loud laughter across the hall, does it force you to fake a smile or stay as you are? How do you teach yourself to stay alone and not feel lonely? How do you teach your mind to hold tightly to joy and not happiness? How can you unlearn the ways of thoughts you dislike?

As you see the day and the one after it, does it feel hopeful or just the same? Do you take every day as it comes or do you actively work against what made it sad for you? How do you create the change you only imagine? When the thought of the future comes to you, what part do you fear the most? Is the tentative possibility of life and love or death and hurt?

At what point did your comfort get uncomfortable? When did you lose all hope? How did your heart go from being full to broken? What broke the scale? Why did your balance move? If you could sit yourself down and say a word or two, what would you say?

There are lessons you learn only from your alone time. There are others you learn from loaning your time to what takes parts of you away. When it’s you in the dark, what form do you see?

May the mind that ponders find what makes it find rest. And may the heart that always wonders feel at ease because these questions are what makes us who we are…humans.