Delight Chilegide Olumati

Do you also find yourself nostalgic for
moments even as they’re unfolding?
It’s as if you can already see the beauty of the
moment as a cherished memory, even while you’re still living it.

Are we memories or moments?
Are we continuous past or present?

What do we become between then and later?
How do we find ways to exist now?

This war between the future and the present has
forced my life into being a constant past before its passing.
I want to live.
I don’t always want to have to leave before
I remember how I was supposed to live.

I want to be.
I want to fully grasp.
I want to fully enjoy the privilege of being—present.

How do I describe this to the lost?
How has my life become this, is this a trauma response but to what?

In understanding, we question.
In understanding, we retrace.
In understanding, we fight through the walls of buried realities.
In understanding, we miss the point sometimes.

I want to enjoy now too.