Delight Chilegide Olumati

I remember the first time I understood your words,
was the day you told me you want to go away from the world.
You told me to open the door,
but I was confused as to if you thought I was a dull,
I didn’t know if you felt I couldn’t move or fall.

I remember the first time I understood your silence,
was the day you said goodbye in softness.
You told me to do good,
but I thought it was for us and for food,
I imagined it was for family and not a fool.

I remember the other time you spoke to me,
was in my dream,
I finally thought my wish had come through,
I felt I had gotten the chance to see you,
I thought it was my chance to draw you one last time
or send you to be drawn as a beautiful sculpture,
I felt the need to be an artist,
to leave you alive like a to do art list,
like a set down slate for my sweet piece.

I remember the time I cried was because I couldn’t remember,
at that point my heart ached as to if I was sick or I have been cursed to slumber,
I at that point designed it to just be another of my nightmares,
those I wake up from 2am and assume it was just mere,
those I burn airtime to call friends and forge it was fair,
make claims like I deserved it,
bake words like I can eat from it,
fake feelings like it is what it is.

I remember days I lost hope and said I miss you to your grave,
days I wished you could just shift a bit for I felt I was brave,
moments all I ever wished for were friends to calm me down and let me know I could let go of all I crave.

Right now it feels like all our memories are going,
like all my heart feels are my energies burning,
and my head swelling.

Right now all I feel is my back aching,
my hands shaking,
and my ink drying.

I remember just a little again,
I almost forgot the last time I wrote to you.
I worked with words and we had a bargain,
we agreed to create our own bags like we’ve gained,
we signed to mould our own tags until we’ve made our own marks.

For the days I have forgotten and times that are rotten,
for the times we’ve spent and moments we’ve shared,
for the steps and mistakes we’ve made and for the experiences gained.
For all and all – we’ve lived
for some and more – we’ve moved
for me and you – we are still living like nothing happened

—Smiler.

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ALIVE STILL.
This poem was written for my Father.
He died a long time ago, we had this very strong bond that up until today I haven’t been able to let go of what we had, times we spent and moments we shared.

You listening and sharing to that piece means the world to me.

Thank you📍❤️❤️

My name is Delight Chilegide Olumati

A writer also known as Smiler.

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